Venting: Don't Dump Your Stress On Others! How to Share How You Feel Without Ruining Your Relationship | Amanda & Matt

"HONEY I JUST NEED TO VENT!"  If you truly love your significant other this might be a phrase you want to forever scratch from your vocabulary. 

Experts now say the process of venting can actually cause even more stress in your relationships. We think "venting", sharing our frustrations of the day with a loved one will make us feel better, however research shows it just elevates your stress and also transfers it onto the person you love.  

It is not just about the person venting, but equally important, the person who is hearing the vent.

We found this extremely helpful on a healthy way to share your feelings without ruining your relationships 

Thought Hub

 Venting is a 2-way process: the person venting and the person hearing the vent. As a matter of fact, positive venting can reduce stress, but negative venting can lead to heightened stress and physical health concerns. It is not just about the person venting, but equally important, the person who is hearing the vent.

Research has shown that the difference between positive and negative venting can be focused on the ways in which the person hearing the vent responds, both through speech and action (Bodie et al., 2015; Goldsmith, 2004). This research supports numerous counseling theories and models that focus on active listening, empathy, and safety.Empathy validates a person’s feelings, sympathy does not acknowledge the feelings involved. Empathy is active, sympathy is passive.

SOLER is an acronym used in the counseling discipline to teach body language that conveys active listening (Egan, 2007).

S - stands for facing the individual SQUARELY, which means that you are facing the person, both head and body.
O - stands for OPEN posture, which means arms are not crossed.
L - stands for leaning toward the person.
E - stands for maintaining EYE CONTACT.
R - stands for RELAXED in the other behaviors listed.

This morning, Matt from The Morning Show said something so profound!  "Do not unload your junk onto me, my garbage can is already full."

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