The secret to getting back on your feet after a plot twist in life is to find the ONE THING that motivates you more than anything else in life to rebuild. Ask yourself "why"...
"He who has a why to live can bear any how." -Friedrich Nietzsche
A month after my ex-husband suddenly left our family for another woman I was barely functioning. My "Sunshines" were 4, 20 months, and 8 weeks old at the time. I'd just gone back to doing my morning radio show from maternity leave and was still nursing. I was a mess.
Thankfully, I knew enough to run to therapy and was assigned to read the book "Man's Search for Meaning". It's a book about the Holocaust of all things. I know sounds kind of a weird assignment for a depressed mom with 3 young kids, but it was EXACTLY what I needed. The author, Viktor Frankl, was a psychologist and was imprisoned in a concentration camp. To survive, he kept practicing. He discovered that those that were inside the concentration camps that survived had a WHY to live. They had a powerful reason that motivated them to LIVE in spite of the genocide they were faced with. One was a concert pianist and just wanted to play again, another's wife was still free and he wanted to be with her again. Frankl survived too, and spent the rest of his life teaching people how to find their WHY.
I know whatever you are going through right now must feel daunting, it might be soul crushing. My brave one, you can't stay there. I want to help you fight your way out. The moment you find your true "why" will be your greatest motivator to rebuild your life. When it feels too hard, when you are too exhausted, when you are filled with doubt, refocus on your WHY and keep moving foward.
What's your "Why"
I clearly remember the moment I discovered my "WHY". My oldest daughter was 4 at the time. I remembered how the first thing she did when she woke up was open up her curtains to see if it was a nice enough day for her to play outside. If she saw sunshine, she would say "Mommy it's happy outside!" It happened one morning when I couldn't get myself out of bed and wanted to wallow. She woke up and declared "Happy". I wanted happy. We deserved happy. That's why I call my children My Sunshines. That day I vowed to get out of bed, get out of depression, and start making plans to write a new chapter of my life. Your WHY is the centering force that will propel you forward. Let's find it.
How do you find your "Why"?
To find your "why" to live so you can bear any how, you'll need to dig deep and answer a few questions. Start with these:
What makes you come alive?
Why does it make you come alive?
How will you measure your life?
If you are not solid on it, if the hair on your arms doesn't stand up, you haven't found it yet and you need to keep asking "why"..
What is one thing that you MUST accomplish with your life?
Why must you accomplish that?
Why is it so important to you?
Got it yet? Will you share it with me? If you still need help in finding your why I would be honored to chat. Let's find that ONE thing that will help you push through this plot twist in your life and help you write a new chapter. With the right "why", the right plan, and focus 6 months from now your life will be completely different.
It was for me! 6 months after that moment, I had a new job, and a new zipcode. I relocated to California, started over, and gave my daughter Sunshine every day. How do you get from plot twist to new life? I got you. Join my community of "Get Your Brave On" babes here!
One thing I know now 10 years later, your "why" molds and changes. Now that my kids are older and independent, my focus has shift to help you find Sunshine. You are my why!